Wednesday, July 16, 2008

R.I.P. Topper

Country fair has always been about Family, friends, good food, and of coarse the party. This year everything was in perfect order, until Monday morning.
I was told the news of my friend passing away In his sleep the night before, and his mother finding him that morning. First reaction was plain fuckin RAGE! I threw a beer can across the camp ground, and started walking away from everyone (Everyone deals with this news differently). I thought I could walk it off some how. I was wrong My heart hurt sooo bad I literaly buckled into a sobbing pile.
Another soldier gone in my life, but he was a different kind. He had LOVE for everything, even people that ripped him off and hurt him.
I always seen a ear to ear smile on his face upon meeting him in any circumstance. Even when
I know he was hurting. He confessed to me one time about his habits. And told me he "wasn't sure how he got this far" and that he wanted to let me know he would be okay. That was 2 years ago.
I never had a friend coach me through depression like he did. Most people will tell you things will get better with time, he didn't. He went with me on a journey that was suppose to freak me the fuck out. It didn't, It showed me clarity In myself, and how to heal faster.
I miss my friend. The last thing he said to me was "Thank you for everything you do brother, I love you" gave me a big hug and was In the wind.
Today I'm using every bit of teaching he put down to get me through this.
Hopefully fair next year will be better, but always in my mind Monday morning will be a little blue.

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